Tuesday, July 30, 2013

how on earth did i miss this?

oh - probably because on most nights, i go to bed earlier than eleven. even in the summer. my inner-grandma is a rock star.

this little segment has been cracking me up for the last few days. did you see it? did you miss it on the first go-around like me?

click here to see part 1...

and if you're a daft punk fan, click here to see the end.



a pretty perfect day

Saturday, July 27, 2013

today has been one of those days that i could very nearly call perfect. it's definitely not everyone's idea of perfect, but today got me back to a good place.

there are still plenty of things on my to-do list that i need to attack, but i spent the bulk of my day curled up on my couch. reading. i'm a wild and crazy rebel every now and then. i haven't devoted an entire day to this in a really long time - i honestly can't remember when the last time was that i just gave myself a day to read. for fun. it was the perfect way to recharge myself.

the girls have been away with some of their favorite friends for approximately 48 hours of church camp bliss. do you remember how fun bunk beds were at summer camp? please tell me you do. it's one of those rites of passage of childhood, i think.

i tried to explain to them what their "room" would look like, and clearly they were pleased with what they found. hopefully there were some flashlights under the covers and nearly-stifled giggles because that's all part of the experience.

this was crazy hair night, and the expression on jay's face melts my heart...she's my little rule follower.

i completely love the hand holding going on right here.

they will be home in approximately 81 minutes, and i can't wait to squeeze their necks, hear all of their stories, and have them back home.

this also means i have approximately 81 minutes left in my fabulous day dedicated to reading, so i'm going to see how much more i can devour between now and then. let the countdown begin!

oh - and my 20 year high school reunion is happening right now (20 years. i know.). i really can't wait to see the pictures start coming in later tonight all the way from my home town - should be lots of fun to watch, and i hope they have tons of fun!



Sunday, July 21, 2013

sometimes i get so caught up in trying to protect the girls from disappointment/getting hurt that i forget to just believe in them. when they were toddlers, i was constantly protecting them from hidden dangers. when they started school, i worried that they  might do or say the wrong things and be made fun of.

when cee wanted to run for student council, i asked her if she was sure, and i worried about how bummed she would be if she didn't get it. when jay wanted to try out for a solo in her school performance, i worried she wouldn't be picked.

when cee wanted to try out for the jump rope team, i worried she wouldn't make it. when jay wanted to save up for a mini ipad, i worried that she'd set the bar too high for herself. these are just a few of the bigger examples of how they've proved me wrong.

of course, outwardly, i tell them to go for it and do their best and that i believe in them. but on the inside, i worry about them and for them. a lot.

as it turns out, i just need to have a little faith.

cee gave me yet another example of this yesterday.

she and a friend spent a week at baylor soccer camp. that was a long stretch for her to be gone, and she had an amazing time. yesterday i went to watch her last scrimmage and bring her home.

after their scrimmage, there was a camp-wide awards ceremony. i knew how badly she wanted to win an award, but i didn't know how she stacked up against the other girls after watching one scrimmage. well, guess what. cee ended up winning an incredible award: she won the "team heart" award! it was for the player who put their heart into everything they did during the week. from playing hard on the field to helping the coaches, from being responsible with their things to being kind to teammates, they said the "team heart" award was for the player who was a leader on and off of the field.

she got a big 12 soccer champs shirt as a memento of her hard work at camp.

she was absolutely beside herself! it was a great experience for her, and i couldn't be any more proud.

both girls have had successful weeks at their respective baylor camps this summer, and now i just need to figure out how i'm going to save up to put two little bears through college there. :)

most importantly, though, i have learned (again) that i can't live life through the world of what ifs. i just need to have a little faith in their ability to achieve the goals they set for themselves.

i think george michael would be proud of me.



Friday, July 19, 2013

dear mr. snowcone man -

let's go over a couple of basics. most people are picky about food preparation, and although they don't actually fall into a recognized food group, i still think food preparation is the correct term when one is making snowcones. therefore, when droplets of sweat visibly plopped from your face onto the counter as you took my order, it almost made me not want to eat my snowcone.

also, if you could please avoid calling your customers sweetheart and honey, that would probably be helpful. and the winking? just weird. this combination almost made me not want to eat my snowcone.

and finally, if you could kindly start carrying red raspberry syrup instead of just blue, that would be wonderful. when i realized my snowcone was blue and not red, it almost made me not want to eat it.

however, the final product was so good that i just couldn't stop myself. i devoured the whole thing.

and then i went to target where i ran into people i know, and they asked me if i'd just eaten a blue snowcone.

see? this doesn't happen with red snowcones.

that's why red raspberry > blue raspberry.

alright, then...just a few tips. and even if you don't take my advice, there's a good chance i'll see you next week anyways.


a standard deviation?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

i have been thinking about this post for nearly a week now...

-about how to avoid letting it sound whiny.
-about how to avoid letting it sound negative or resentful.
-about how to avoid letting it sound soap-boxy.
-about how to make it sound just right.

there is an old saying that you can't be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. i am happy with myself. i am comfortable in my own skin, and i am just as comfortable being with friends and family as i am comfortable being by myself. sometimes i worry i'm a little too comfortable being alone, but that's a different story for another day...

a deviation of this mindset has been bugging me lately, and i think it has mostly been bothering me because i'm not sure why it's been on my mind. are my standards too high? is it a natural component of human nature that's new to me? have i been naive to this in the past? or am i actually being a little bit cynical right now?

i still don't have the answer, and therefore, the original question is still nibbling away at me.

do you ever feel like you spend so much time trying to make the people around you happy that you lose sight of your own happiness?

i'm not talking about my girls - as you know, they are amazing to me. i watch them actively do things to make me happy and to make others happy. sometimes when i'm in the shower, i will hear them scurrying around in my room straightening my dresser or the bathroom counter, and sometimes when i'm cooking dinner, they sneak into another room and fold a load of laundry just to make me smile. and i do everything within my power to make sure they are happy, relatively well-adjusted kids who have everything they need and most of the things they want.

i'm also not talking about my good friends - they are also really amazing people. i am all about a two-way street, with the ebbs and tides and the gives and takes that develop with solid friendships. but there are times, in adult relationships, when you start to feel like the amount of energy you're expending heavily exceeds what the other person intends to return.

i'm all about karma. really, i am. and i'm all about doing good things for other people without expecting anything in return.

but what do you do when you realize the amount of your investment for someone is much greater than what they would ever do for you, even with nothing expected in return? is it really a two-way street at that point? and if it's not, is it really a relationship, or does it become an exhaustive effort? and are you essentially a door mat at some point in the equation?

i don't know.

it is frustrating. and i feel like those are really mean questions to even throw out there, but i did. so there. :)

i borrowed this quote from black swan yoga's facebook page because when i was thinking about all of this for the last week, whatever this is, i found it and it put things into perspective for me a little bit.

usually when i write to vent, i gain a little bit of clarity on my situation. other times, i can quiet my mind by getting words onto the screen about whatever it is that's going on in my life. and then there are the times when i feel better simply because i wrote. i'm pretty sure all three of these things have happened during this post, so thank you for reading/listening/letting me vent.

i hope this didn't sound whiny or negative or resentful or soap-boxy. i know it wasn't just right like i wanted it to be, but for me, it did the trick. funny how that works in my world. thanks again for reading!


a solid sense of smell

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

i've been bogged down by allergies for the past few days, and i didn't realize - until 3:15 this morning - that at some point over the last few days, i'd temporarily lost my sense of smell.

the only way i knew it was back was when i woke up to the ever-so-faint stench of skunk. at 3:15. a.m. for someone who is highly dependent on 8+ solid hours of sleep, this did not seem to be a good thing.

my mind started racing, and i did what any logical person would do. i googled skunk smell in my house.

as you can probably deduce, this was not the best idea i've ever had. true to its astounding track record in my life, in a matter of seconds, google had me worrying about things i didn't even know existed.

aside from the obvious fact that i was fully aware there was no skunk in my house, google informed me that my house might have been commandeered by the walls. and carpenter ants are possibly eating my house from the inside out. google also said it could be my air conditioner turbine burning or the coils of my air conditioner overheating. i didn't even know i had a turbine or coils, better yet the air conditioner ones. google continued to soothe me by indicating that it might be the onset of an electrical fire in my attic. and then i wondered on my own if my house has a carbon monoxide detector. and is it really an odorless gas? google and its various threads thought i should definitely call 9-1-1.

these are not good things to worry about or decide on at 3:30 in the morning. i briefly pondered calling 9-1-1, but i'm fairly certain i'm already on their idiot watch list, so i decided to take a benadryl and i finally drifted back into a light sleep.

i was more than pleasantly surprised when i woke up (alive!!) at 7:30 9:00 to find not only that the smell was gone, but it was pleasant enough outside that i could leave the windows and screen door open for awhile...just in case.

i'm happy to report that things are back to normal and my house smells like our home again.

we can all breathe a clean, collective sigh of relief!

and we can all look forward to a restful night's sleep filled with very pleasant things.


disclaimer: the girls were with their dad last night. if they'd been here, i would have called 9-1-1, idiot watch list or not, and been much more proactive in making sure we were all okay. i promise!

the saturday of summer

Saturday, July 6, 2013

i have not been feeling very writey inspired to write lately. there. i said it. admitting it is half the battle, right?

i always aim for a post at least once a week, and i've been able to artfully manage that for the last two years. however, anything i would have written in the last week would have been completely forced and unavoidably worthless.

in one short month, my brain has kind of turned to mush and my verbal prowess has been moderately impaired.

thank you for that, june.

i am so glad july is here - it's the saturday of my summer, and it's time to kick the blog fog to the curb and start writing again.

today was a return to normal for us - after lots of running and sunning and gunning for the past couple of weeks, we i decided that after we got home from an early morning soccer game, we were going to vegetate.

on the couch.

in our pj's.

for as long as we possibly could.

spending the whole day at home was a very good thing for all three of us. we decided to abandon our horizontal alignments on the couch around two, and we have had a wonderful day of epic nothing-ness. the girls built amazing forts, we watched way too many episodes of dc cupcakes and toddlers in tiaras (no judgment, por favor), we had an art contest, and we cooked a delicious dinner.

we are now curled up on the couch again (all three of us on 2 of 5 available cushions) watching a movie on netflix, and i am feeling completely refreshed and back to some semblance of myself again...and after a good night's sleep, all three of us will be as good as new.

it's funny how saturdays can do that for us.

glad you're here, july. take your time with us, okay?


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