excuse me...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

something weird happened to me last week: i realized exactly how necessary it is for me to get a good night's sleep.

more specifically, a few sleepless nights over the last few weeks threw my body directly into a tumultuous mini-rebellion. just to clarify, when i say 'sleepless nights', i don't mean that i had a couple of nights of restless sleep or that i woke up ten minutes before my alarm went off or that i stayed up too late...

my brand of 'sleepless' involves waking up at 2 am with a million things on my mind ranging anywhere from a all the way to z (oh, the irony)...night after night after night after night. and at some point, my body decides something has to give.

i've tried the garden variety of cognitive behavior approaches like writing everything down that's on my mind before i go to bed...and writing everything down that's on my mind when i wake up at 2 am...and 3 am...and 4 am.

i've tried adjusting my bedtime around these unexpected waking times. i've even taken extreme measures and not had my glass of wine before bed. as it turns out, that's a horrible idea all together, and i just have an overactive mind.  


when i wake up in the middle of the night, i honestly can't do much to quiet the random thoughts as they race  through my head, and i can't simply put them aside for a few hours while i reach the magic number of eight hours that my body loves.

so last week, i got some adorable little 10 mg friends to assist me with getting back into somewhat of a normal sleep routine and to give these little thoughts a rest of their own.

these pills are great, but i'd much rather handle this on my own, i said to the universe.

the universe replied by depositing a ted link on my facebook feed, the title being 'your elusive creative genius'.

the mastermind behind eat, pray, love
i am in no way trying to compare myself  to the lovely and talented elizabeth gilbert, who is the speaker of this enlightening little piece, nor am i trying to imply that my elusive creativity belongs to any form of genius...more likely than not, my creativity can best be credited to a little bit of  a fair amount of good, old-fashioned anxiety.

regardless of who gets credit for this hitch in my sleep schedule and the subsequent bank of ideas that comes from it, elizabeth gilbert's talk gave me an idea.

last saturday when my thoughts tried to interrupt my sleep at 1:56 am (on a night i opted out of the 10 mg assistant), i simply wished the following words to them: 'excuse me...can you not see that i'm sleeping? do i look like i can deal with you right now? if you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment when i can take care of you! otherwise, go bother somebody else right now.'

it felt really good to address them and their extreme rudeness.

did it help? well, actually...no.

but it felt good to grab the bull by the horns, even if it was all for naught. it also made me realize that i can get control over this if i'm persistent enough in my efforts.

there's a lot more to her message than just addressing your daemons head on, and i hope you'll take twenty minutes out of your day to digest what she has to say. maybe, just maybe, it will resonate with you like it did for me.

peace, olé, and sweet dreams...

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