senseless

Saturday, December 15, 2012

"the majority of those who died today were children - beautiful little kids between the ages of five and ten years old. they had their entire lives ahead of them - birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own. among the fallen were also teachers - men and women who devoted their lives to helping our children fulfill their dreams."
~president obama
december 14, 2012
 
i started writing this post late last night, and i had to stop because i'm having an exceedingly hard time wrapping my mind around the enormity of this senseless tragedy.

i managed to keep myself together yesterday at school - we were specifically instructed not to tell our students about what happened. but i worried about how 'plugged in' they are. would they get texts like i did informing them about the shooting? would they stumble across the news in a computer lab or see it on their twitter feeds? either way, i knew my students were in safe hands, and i also knew cee and jay were in safe hands.

jay's teacher sent out the sweetest email to parents of kids in her class..."hearing about the tragedy today stopped me in my tracks and broke my heart...know that when your sweet angel is with me they are loved unconditionally and i do everything in my power to keep them safe."

as a parent, an email like that means more than words can express, and i feel very blessed that both of my girls have been in her class. she is a pretty special lady.

talking to the girls about what happened, while staying composed, wasn't an easy task. i held them both in my lap while we talked, and they had so many questions. i reassured them that they are in competent, safe hands every single day when they go to school. but most of all, i made sure they knew how much they're loved and how lucky we are to have each other.

immediately, they wanted to know what we could do to help the families who lost loved ones in the shooting. this amazes me...it really, really does. it makes my mama heart proud.

by the time i was finally able to watch the news last night after the girls were sleeping, holding it together was no longer an option. my heart broke for the families who lost loved ones. my heart broke for the children and adults in that school who lost their lives and for the children and adults in that school who will never be able to forget what they experienced yesterday. my heart broke for the entire community of newtown, and my heart broke for another school shooting in our country.

i don't think right now is the time for rhetoric {specifically the political kind}. instead, i think this is a great time for wrapping those we love the most tightly in our arms and taking some time to appreciate and cherish each moment we have together. there are no promises for a tomorrow...not for any one of us. nothing should be taken for granted in this life.

right now, i am more thankful than usual for my sweet little family.


we're here, we're safe, and they are loved with my whole entire heart.


they both made revisions to their santa letters today (yup, even cee)...you know what they added?

cee: prayers for the families who lost their children...
jay: things for all the sad families in connecticut...

i've said it before: writing is therapeutic for me. case in point - while i was writing this post, struggling to make some sort of sense out of yesterday's events, the phrase 'peace that passes understanding' came into my mind.

and it hit me. maybe this shooting is next to impossible to understand. maybe it's not even meant for us to understand. but regardless of how we process it, we do have to find peace in our own hearts (peace...not acceptance...just peace) so we're able to remind our little ones to embrace the peace in theirs...

2 comments :

Tina said...

Beautiful! You are raising a couple of pretty special little ladies. Keep up the good work. :)

it's just me... said...

Thanks Tina... :)

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