measurably better now than in the last post

Monday, October 29, 2012

for those of you who don't know me well, sleep is one of my most favorite things and not really because i'm inherrently lazy, but mostly because lack of sleep makes me mean and grumpy. i've felt mean and grumpy for the last week.

i don't like feeling mean and grumpy.

i didn't sleep well because i was worried about my last class in grad school. i was convinced that i'd be the one exception to the rule and i'd be the person who made a 'c' in the class and didn't get to graduate due to said 'c'. whenever i'm stressed, my silver-lining-self becomes a horrible hybrid of a pessimistic, glass-half-empty fatalist.

on top of that, and i'm not trying to be a griper (because i really do love what i do), last week couldn't have been more busy if it tried. monday i had an after school 'thing' and an evening obligation for school; tuesday i had two assignments to complete; wednesday i had one more assignment to complete; thursday i had an after school 'thing' and another evening obligation for school. by friday, i was completely worn out, and on saturday i had a training from 8-3. i know this might be a normal work week for  some people, but it isn't a normal work week for me, and i'm a creature of habit.

the girls went to work with their dad saturday while i worked, and the three of us had a fun time unwinding saturday evening...


we chilled out with robert randolph & co., and let me tell you - that was some much needed soul fuel. we tried to hang in there for zz top, but we were all three way too worn out before they went on stage. the girls fell asleep before we were home, and i love putting them to bed like i did when they were little.

so here's what i learned last week:

1) cortisol is real. very, very real. i was so stressed last week that i could literally feel copious amounts of cortisol coursing a pathway through my body and wreaking havoc on all facets of my life, from head to toe. seriously.

2) even when i want to give up, my friends (and my stubborn-to-the-core mind) won't let me. i am a lucky, lucky lady to be surrounded by such supportive people.

3) strangers can be unexpectedly nice, and people who you think you aren't strange can be unexpectedly punk-esque.

4) anne lamott's political insight makes me happy.

5) there are no words more reassuring, after a week like the last, than these (especially when you're convinced you've royally botched everything):



i can tell you without hesitation that this weekend was much, much sweeter than the last 72 weekends simply because i got to enjoy my time with the girls and i didn't have to worry about an assignment that was due on sunday, or a reading response that was due on friday, or a reply that was due on saturday, or what books i would need for the next class.

what a fabulous feeling for all three of us!! here's a mini-celebration photo of the girls congratulating me for the end of grad school...for us all!!


alright, enough about that.

my next social dilemma is figuring out how to occupy all this free time i have on my hands now (in case you're worried, i have a few ideas up my sleeves)...

suggestions welcome - maybe i should learn a new language. french? spanish? italian? knowing myself the way i do, i need a new challenge. sooner rather than later would be ideal...thoughts?

alright, that's all for now.

peace...

2 comments :

JFTB said...

Free time = co-tri-authoring a badass book. The End.

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