unexpected aftermath

Thursday, August 9, 2012

i try to be on top of what the girls watch on tv, and i am extremely picky about what they are and are not allowed to watch. with that said, i'm not perfect. sometimes i slip or stumble, and i've even had a couple of face plants.

one of those face plants might have happened last night...

last night we watched toddlers and tiaras on tlc, which is usually filled with teachable moments (and is always dependable for its high level of quality entertainment). we usually have some memorable conversations while we watch. last night we did not have memorable conversations, primarily because we were rendered speechless.

the unexpected aftermath of this seemingly harmless endeavor was two-fold:

1. i did not know this toddlers and tiaras episode was the springboard for tlc's new series here comes honey boo boo.

honestly, the name alone should be a good stopping point, but i feel like you need me to elaborate (you're welcome). honey boo boo is a six-year-old girl from georgia who is sassier than my children could ever imagine being, even in their wildest dreams.

although it's a tough crowd, honey boo boo is not quite as polished as some of the other contestants who are typically featured on toddlers and tiaras...she introduces one of her sisters as 'the fattest' and a subsequent sister as 'the pregnant-est' (this sister, who was 17, later participated in a mud-diving contest in...wait for it...the redneck games). there was one more sister who, as her family cheered her on, bobbed for pigs' feet (raw ones) in the aforementioned redneck games.

i'm all about mindless tv, but i think honey boo boo (et all) are way beyond my level of tolerance. 

i could go on and on because it was that spectacularly astonishing, but i'll stop...for now...because there is one more thing that i didn't see coming.

2. remember the conjoined twins abby and brittany? well, they've garnered a show on tlc as well. therefore, when we were watching the honey boo boo debacle, we were inundated with previews about their new show.

now, i've always had a soft place in my heart for that family (thank you, harpo studios). i feel like in one way or another, america has kind of been allowed to follow them as they've grown up. i have enjoyed watching because i think it's a very remarkable story.

the girls, on the other hand, had never heard of them, and they were mesmerized when the first preview aired.

mes. mer. ized.

and let me just tell you, they had the most random array of questions and comments as soon as the previews were over....

cee (who is always full of questions): when they go for hair cuts, does their mom pay for one or two? how do they agree on a color for finger nail polish? when they have to go to the bathroom, do they need privacy? do they get to eat two times more sugar in a day? do they both have to brush their teeth twice a day? can they read each other's mind? if they won a medal in the olympics, would it count as a tie or would the older one get the better medal? do they each have a best friend or do they share one? if they score a goal in soccer, who gets credit because only one person can score a goal?

i was pretty quiet during the rapid fire stage of her questions because i didn't really have answers, and i didn't really want to say, 'we'll have to watch to find out!!'

and then my second child posed something that would have never occurred to me.

jay: i bet they can plag tag really easily...it would be like:
'you're it!' 
'no, you're it!' 
'no, you're it!'
'no, you're it!' 
'no, you're it!'
'no, you're it!' 
'no, you're it!'
and they don't even have to run...well, actually i bet that gets pretty boring. 

and then honey boo boo came back on and we resumed the business of watching a family we don't know as they butchered, processed, and ate a deer they found {dead} on the side of the road, and we continued watching as they went to a food auction and bid on nearly-expired bulk food products...all in an effort to put more money towards a tiny blonde child's future in deep-south, full-glitz pageant competitions...

i found myself feeling infinitely thankful for everything we have, from social graces to grocery money to a full grasp of standard english to all of our teeth (well, except for jay, but that's just because she's lost several teeth this summer...i've been assured she has permanent ones waiting to fill in the gaps)...

so, yeah. thank you, tlc, for enlightening my family in your own, special, empathy-inducing way. thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

peace and pageants...


Tina said...

Omg!!! That is hilarious! I've purposely stayed away from Toddlers and Tiaras show because my precious 7 year old doesn't need anymore ideas; she's already sassy enough. It's amazing how all these reality shows make us count our blessings. I'm never more glad to be a person who throws things away as when I watch Hoarders. I saw yesterday that TLC is adding the Bates family to their line up this fall. They are friends with the Duggars and also have 19 kids. It's crazy how the Duggars make me with I had more kids. Anyway, loved the post!!

it's just me... said...

thanks, tina! i'll have to check out the bates family as well! maybe that's why i like tlc so much...it makes me feel like i'm doing things right, but i'm actually comparing apples to oranges. :)

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