Sunday, April 15, 2012

i have recently found myself interacting with a certain twenty-something much more than i would have ever guessed. i'm not saying this like it's a bad thing, it's just one of those things that falls into the always surprising category of 'things i never thought i'd be doing'.

in a perfect world, this twenty-something might be the nanny i can't afford because the girls absolutely, completely love her, and i'm pretty sure she loves them right back. but we all know this isn't a perfect world.

therefore, she's not my nanny.

she's the ex-husband's 'new' girlfriend...the same girl who made cee want to wear really tight pants...and who, unknowingly, prompted an unexpected conversation about why we have to be careful about how we dress.

she's adorable, and i feel like i should take care of her in a matriarchal kind of way. there was a time not too long ago where i loaned her my warmest jacket because hers wasn't very heavy and i worried she'd catch a cold.

i'm definitely wading in new territory right now, but i think we're all adjusting to it pretty well.

one of the more comical moments of late happened last weekend when my easter dinner for three suddenly turned into an easter dinner for which time she made reference to time more than once by saying, 'last year when i lived at home...' or 'last year when i still lived with my parents...'

(crickets from me - because i really can't relate to that...i left 'home' when i was 18 and never lived there again.)

and then there was the time the five of us (the girls, the ex, the new one, and myself) went to lunch. the adults ordered a glass of wine...all of the adults except me got carded. if that's not a sure-fire way to implicitly acknowledge my crow's feet and aging parts, then i don't know what is.

even better was learning she was two years younger than what the ex originally reported. awesome.

there is definitely some comic relief involved in this new process, and that helps me keep things in perspective.

on the flip-side, one of the more difficult parts of it is that the girls talk about her non-stop when they get home from weekends with their dad. sometimes i feel like saying (in a not very calm voice), 'enough. already. about. her. please.'


i guess the most difficult part to navigate is actually two-fold...

first, i can't help but root for this relationship to last because i've seen my divorced friends go through girlfriends and boyfriends, and i've seen their kids react to the break-ups. i think it's just as hard on kids to get attached to a new person and then to go through the process of 'losing' them. the kids build their own special relationship with the new person...and because of that (because of the girls), i hope this works. that's a weird place to be.

second, the ex told me about her two months ago, but really i'd known what was up for the last ten months. at least. i asked him about her several times, and he always said she was just a friend...and a babysitter.

in one way, it was a relief to know that my 'instinct' was right; in another way, i wondered why he didn't tell me sooner; and in yet another way, i still can't help but wonder how many other things he wasn't honest about while we were married.

that's the part that makes me nauseous. i could probably make myself crazy with the constant wondering, but thankfully i've learned not to do that to myself.

the most important things are that the girls are happy, and i am, too.

there is a high probability that just when we least expect it, cee's wheels are going to do the math and say something brilliant like, 'oh my gosh - you could totally be my sister!' or 'oh my gosh - you are so much younger than my dad!' or 'oh my gosh - my mom could be your mom!'

but moments like that just have to bloom on their own.

that's what makes them extra special. right?

my babies are back home from a whirlwind weekend of fun, and i'm ready to settle in and enjoy a sweet sunday evening with them...starting - now!!



Mama O. said...

So many options here, but the only thing I can see in my mind's eye is a black thong. All I'm sayin'. Heart.

Liz said...

Have I told you lately how much I love you?

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