Thursday, February 2, 2012

for some reason, today was really hard for me (not that this day was about me at all). my youngest baby is growing up, and it seems like we just did this song and dance yesterday. but that was for her sixth birthday.  i really need an appointment with father time.

seven years and approximately four hours ago, this scene blessed my world.

from the moment i laid eyes on her, i realized i'd just unveiled a completely different kind of love as a mom. there is truly something unique about the path your soul travels with each of your children, and it's not something you can explain until you meet your second child. and probably the same goes for your third and so on...

when i first started looking at pictures for this post, i was thinking the theme was going to be her smile, because that is her killer secret weapon. but it's about so much more than just that beaming grin that dominates a room.

it's about her spirit and her ability to put people at ease, no matter how thick the tension. it really is one of her natural talents.

and her ability to enjoy a cupcake.

for some reason on her first birthday, i felt wickedly compelled to have my own tradition with her because i think the second child sometimes gets the shaft on tradition and ends up taking what's 'left' i got out of bed in the middle of the night to make a secret batch of cupcakes and i vowed to wake up before her the next morning so that i could be in her room when she first stirred...and the rest is history.

call me mom of the year, but please don't call cps. each morning on her birthday, jay and i dine on a true breakfast of champions: cupcakes. that's how we roll.

as i've said many times before, she is such a free spirit with a true hippie heart. this is one of her favorite pictures of herself...and please don't assume that it was taken in october.

nope, just your run-of-the-mill march morning. she loves animals, and she loves fur. this is undoubtedly going to present a quandary of conflicts of interest down the road, and i will hold her hand through those as they present themselves. in the meantime, i figure that it isn't a bad thing to catch this smile as often as i can because that...combined with her eyes...well, there isn't much that combination can't fix in my world.

my nature girl loves all living things (trust me, i've tried to set limits here), and she still talks about our chickens (that we haven't had in three years) like they are her friends. she is also still baffled by the concept of buying them from the store instead of getting them off the grill on the back porch like laura ingalls wilder (minus the grill).

she is the most compassionate and empathetic little love bug i could have ever imagined, and she has a magical way of always keeping other people's feelings ahead of her own. i don't think that is something you can teach people...i think it is an amazing gift, and i can't wait to see how she uses that as she gets older.

there are so many amazing blessings she has that are so not easy for me to explain. her smile really has pulled me through some of my most difficult times, and her ability to size up a situation and know how to put you almost instantly at ease is honestly uncanny sometimes.

i have let myself spend hours at a time thinking about how i got lucky enough to be the mom of two amazing girls and wondering exactly what my role is in helping them prepare for the incredible roles and lives i know lie ahead of them.

every now and then, i get a tiny revelation, and it usually brings another entirely new round of questions. and that's what makes life fabulously interesting.

here's the last picture i have for you tonight...this is the look she gets on her face when she's either sizing up a situation or is about to tell you something really important.

i got this look earlier today. we were coming home from the grocery store, and she got 22 points from her heb buddy bucks. i said to her, 'that's pretty cool that you got 22. on your birthday, which is 2/2. because if you break 22 down, it comes out to 2 for february and 2 for the 2nd...'

(yes, i realize i'm a nerd)

and then she gives me the 'new' look and simply says, 'mom. it's called expanded notations.'

and that's where i still need a little more practice on figuring out what my role is in helping them prepare for the incredible roles and lives i know lie ahead of them. 

happy birthday to my sweet jay bird...and many, many more! being your mom is one of the most incredible honors i've ever had, and i promise you: i'm giving it my all.


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