Monday, November 21, 2011

nine years ago today, my life was changed forever...

that was the day i became a mom. i will never forget the amazing feeling of holding cee for the first time and thinking that i might not ever let her go. for the next eight weeks of her life, i kind of didn't.

it was cold that year (much colder than this year), and i held her warm little body in my arms as much as i possibly could. she was like a little heater who smiled at me and needed me, and i needed her, too. her eyes were as deep and mysterious then as they are now.

she has blossomed into something i could have never imagined. she has qualities that i always hoped she'd acquire and qualities i never dreamed she'd gain. she is simply incredible to me.

her smile can light up an entire room, and she's gotten really good at using that to her advantage. :)

i love watching her wheels spin and churn as she figures out the ways of the world. i love watching her think of stories. i love how she loves school and soccer so much and i love how she loves family even more than school and soccer. and i love how she's picked up on some of my more desirable bad habits instead of the less desirable ones.

and no matter how much i have thoroughly loved every single moment of watching her bloom, this birthday is a little bittersweet for me. for all practical purposes, i've already used up half of my time raising her under my roof. i am pretty sure the next half will go by much quicker than the first, and that thought leaves me with a huge lump in my throat.

i hope i make the most of every moment of the next nine years of her life. there really isn't a minute i want to miss, and i feel like i'm suddenly running a race against time.

she's been keeping a detailed list of all the things i've told her she can start doing...when she's nine. i don't remember all of these, but she's done a great job of marking my words. this year will, apparently, be filled with ironing, cell phones, itouches, and redecorating her room. time for me to pay up on those promises!

this morning, she crawled into my lap, looked at me with those big brown eyes, gave me that winning smile, and wrapped her long arms around my neck to remind me how much she still needs me. and i need her more than ever.

happy birthday to the most incredible nine year old i've ever met!!!


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