whippin' stick

the girls and i went to a new church today - we all three loved it!! that hasn't happened before...we've been to a couple i liked, but they didn't and a couple more that left us on the opposite side of the voting block. today we had a unanimous vote of yes!! this makes me happy.

the sermon today was about working through times of crisis and facing rough spells in life (from the book of job), and for some reason it made me think about how jay will sometimes randomly say, 'don't make me get out my whippin' stick!' while i can't quite pinpoint the connection between the sermon and the saying, i am certain that i have never used the phrase whippin' stick; however, it cracks me up when she says it (unless we're in public).

thinking about the whippin' stick spurred another memory of an episode that happened when cee was 2 and jay was 7 months in utero (aka 2 months from being born)...again, i can't pinpoint the connection.

cee and i met a sweet mom and her little girl at the local library. her little girl was a month younger than cee, her baby was due 5 days before jay, and we had an instant connection. we had a couple of play dates at the library for story time, they came to play with us once, and we went to play with them once. tragically, that was the end of our 'hang time.'

when cee was little, we were always hesitant to spank her (we were hesitant about lots of things), but i read a great story about how someone used a spanking spoon. it was a wooden kitchen spoon, and the premise was that the spoon would never actually be used on the child.

the spoon was merely a device of intimidation. i did slap it against my hand so she could hear that it made a popping noise, and she did not like that a single bit. the spoon was a fear tactic. in the story, the person would carry the spanking spoon everywhere - tucked safely in her purse. if ever there was an issue, she just had to pull the tip of the spoon out of her purse and once it was visible to her kid, the behavior was instantly remedied.

being a first time mom, i thought that the spanking spoon was an absolutely brilliant idea. little did i know, it would backfire on me. big time.

back to said playdate duo...when we went to their house to play, cee was in hog heaven. their toys were completely different from ours and entirely new to her. she played and played with the other little girl and her toys, and the mom and i talked and laughed. we were all having a great time. it was very norman rockwell.

and then it happened. an untimely lull in the conversation, and a very brief moment of attentively watching the girls play. in less than 30 seconds, i experienced the full realm of mortification. at the very moment we stopped to watch them play, cee picked up a miniature wooden spoon and one of those scary baby dolls with the blinky eyes.

it all happened so fast. i didn't even see it coming...

in an instant, cee had put the baby doll face down on the carpet and she proceeded to beat the holy hell out of the baby's backside with the wooden spoon. she was letting the poor baby have it! throughout the beating, cee was saying 'bad baby. you get spankin' spoon. you a bad, bad baby! spankin' spoon for you, baby.'

i don't know exactly what shade of red my face turned, but i clearly remember feeling heat radiating from it at nuclear levels. the other mom looked at me shocked at first, and then her shock transformed to something close to an accusation.

i told her i had no idea where she had learned that, and then i began blabbering to her my story about the spanking spoon - emphasizing that we never, ever used the spoon on her and that it was just a scare tactic. at this point i may as well have been digging myself a grave with the stupid spanking spoon that had betrayed me.

she offered me some water (to temper the color in my face?), i politely declined, pretended i didn't realize how quickly time had flown by, gathered cee up, said goodbye and thank you, and left as fast as possible. our quick exit probably did not make the situation any better.

needless to say, that was our last play date. she had her baby, i had mine, and our calls went unreturned. i don't know if they still live here - i haven't seen them at all since then, but i will never forget the first time my child completely humiliated me and left me nearly speechless. :)



so in conclusion, church today was super fab and full of good stuff – especially repressed memories.


alright, enough pain & suffering for now. we are off to the pool...happy sunday.


peace, spanking spoons, and whippin' sticks...

p.s. - i always write my posts, let them marinade in blogosphere land for awhile, and then i come back to re-read and make sure all is well stated or at least written as i had intended. upon today's re-read, i just realized how sickeningly awful it sounds that i actually used a kitchen utinsel combined with the words 'scare tactic' as a means of discipline for my kids...wow, wow, wow. -10:51 p.m.