the *big* move

has anyone seen my big girl panties? i know i saw them around here somewhere. i know they'll turn up. i have an a.p.b. out on them right now.

on saturday, i move into my new home. to put it lightly, i have minor organizational dysfunction. i have lots of books about how to be organized, but i can't find them. couple that with an innate thrill of a last minute challenge, and you have me. 11 pm the night before i move with nothing packed and willingly embracing the challenge of getting it all done tomorrow morning! in three hours! 

i am a first time solo home buyer, so this is a huge step for me! cee and jay had their first preview tonight, and the house received their stamp of approval. they had no trouble at all picking which bedroom they wanted and already had ideas about where some of their things would go. there is a huge play scape in the backyard, so that kind of sealed the deal for them. 

(huge sigh of relief)

so today - and all this week - i have been thankful for the strength and resilience that my girls (and all kids for that matter) have. at the same time, i know that the 'idea' of a new house is a temporary fix of excitement that will eventually morph into many questions about divorce and why's and what if's. and maybe in the midst of the questions that will undoubtedly arise, i will find those missing big girl panties as i unpack and adjust to a new way of life. 

for today, i remain thankful for the strength and enthusiasm that generally encumber my beautiful baby girls! they illuminate my soul. 

my dog

browning is my sweet love of a lug of a chocolate lab. he is nine, and he is the most chill character you will ever meet. if he was a person, he would be like morgan freeman in bruce almighty.

browning is such a great guy - super duper smart, extremely entertaining, and the sweetest dog i have ever known (all bias aside). whenever people come to our house, they treat him like a person.

"hey browning, what's up?"

he receives formal, human greetings. it is as if he has always and will continue to say, "not much. you?"

he does this boogie dance whenever anyone steps foot into the garage. i get that; i like food, too.

(side note: i know that dogs are not supposed to have chocolate because it is bad for them, but i really do not agree with the fact that chocolate labs should be denied the luscious food of their namesake.)

prissy purse-sized pooches, beware. there's a new love bug in town.

i keep him inside with me at nights because he weighs more than me. for some reason, that makes me feel safe (and thin....if you knew how much he weighed, you might find my reference to his weight selfish). however, lately i have noticed that the 'security' issue is strictly mind over matter. whenever i get up in the mornings, i literally have to step over him if he is sleeping by my bed. i promise i am telling the truth, he does not bat a lash or even lift a lid when my alarm goes off. 

if he is not sleeping by my bed, he can be found stretched out belly up, head tossed on pillow, paws in the air - solidly sawing logs on the couch. he really has it rough. 

(ha ha, get it? rough? as in ruff?)

i digress. 

i love my dog. i am thankful for him. cee and jay adore him. when jay gets mad at the humans in our house, she says to the non-human in our house, "come on browning, let's go. you wanna play katie and stacey?"

(in 'katie and stacey', jay is ashley and browning stars as himself. it's called 'katie and stacey' for a reason, right?)

good stuff.

today i am grateful for all of earth's creatures. human, non-human. two-legged, three-legged, four-legged. winged, non-winged (we'll get to the hens another time). life is amazing, and browning rocks.

i love paula deen....

tonight I cooked a rockin' paula deen chicken casserole. i love paula deen (in a non-nascar way), and i love the idea of being able to please people with the food i cook. i thought it was the best thing i have ever made, and i ate two bowls of it. 

then cee said, "i am sorry mom. we just don't like it. we want to know if paula deen meant to make it smell like throw up. i mean, no offense. maybe when we are old like you, we'll like gross stuff like that too. i really think you are the best cook ever at making shells and cheese if it makes you feel any better. no offense."

none taken? on many of the levels addressed? i think?

paula deen, i love you. i aspire to be you. your food does not smell like throw up. 

today i am thankful for nutrigrain cereal bars, which i used to nourish my thankless children upon their refusal to engorge themselves in my fine cuisine. 

really, i am thankful for my girls and their honestly. i love that they feel like they can tell me anything. although tonight's instance is a very odd/isolated/surface issue, i hope they always feel like they can tell me anything as they grow up. they played dress up tonight and they both looked breath-takingly beautiful. i love them. i am blessed. God is good.

pah-tay

we celebrated jay's birthday today. oh, how i wish i could be a kid again.

we did a "destination party" which in layman's terms means that you actually leave your house and show up at an undisclosed location. you are allowed to have a full, meaningful conversation with your adult friends while the kids run WILD on bounce house castles. you serve cake, open presents, and all in the span of two hours you are done. the staff cleans up your mess. best of all? you have no panicky pre-cleaning of your own home in a last ditch effort to pretend you and your kids always clean up all messes without even being asked. 

so watching the little ones run around, crash into each other, laugh their heads off, scream with exhilaration, and sweat like they might not ever have the opportunity to play again, ever, completely made my day. they have no qualms with letting out all emotions: laughing, screaming, squealing, crying, yelling at some stranger to get out of their way. they are free. no social norms of P.C., etc. i wish i could be more like that, but i think i would still end any given vicious rant with, 'please' or 'thank you'. 

today i am thankful for the free and boundless spirit that children possess. it is beautiful. i want to harness it and build it back into my world. in a mature, P.C., adult way.

dear target,

dear target,

we have been friends for almost thirty years now. but i must tell you that my feelings are very hurt after our tiff tonight. i did not know that you closed at 10. when did this happen? i missed the memo. how is it that we have had such a long relationship, yet neither of us has ever turned the lights off on the other all this time? i know you have your reasons. i get that. i guess i just got a little too caught up in myself. i am glad you have set limits for yourself. you deserve it. you work hard each day. you tolerated that bunch of LOUD british dudes much better than i did. seriously, do they have to yell? their accent is cool, but i have to admit that i felt like candid camera was going to pop out on me at any given minute. 

so, dear target, thank you for setting your boundaries with me. i appreciate it. and i am thankful for you. you provide the world with quality products at a reasonable price. i also like how you've embraced technology and i can return something without a receipt as long as i have my debit card or checking account number. even in the midst of an economic crisis, you make me happy. thank you target. 

until we meet again....

opposites

today i tried to teach cee the concept of word association games. we started slowly with opposites.

me: slow

cee: fast like a bunny rabbit!

me: tired

cee: totally fired up!

me: fat dog

cee: weeiner dog!

me: happy

cee: under the sea. i mean like hit rock bottom of the sea. not good. down in the dumps.

did i mention that cee is 6? it worries me. 

today i am thankful for belly laughs. the kind that make tears run down your face and make your stomach feel as if it had undergone a full ab workout.

she cracks me up.

laughter is therapy. for free.

f.o.u.r.

happy birthday, jay! how does it feel to be four?!?!

(today i am thankful for the idea of youthfulness)