insomniac

Monday, August 31, 2009

last night it felt like i had bugs crawling on me....no bugs to be found; just a very tired me.

tonight, i am counting sheep:

one sheep, two sheep;
red sheep, blue sheep...

peace out, all (scratch, scratch).

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

p.s. - i love you, sweet benadryl. forever and ever, amen.

yo.

week 1? done.

Friday, August 28, 2009

stick a fork in it, week 1 is done.

(ha - a rhyme from a language arts teacher! go figure.)

school was a success for the girls and me!!

cee and jay are happy as can be.

my babies are growing oh so fast,

how long can i make the 'little girl years' last?

all my students are so super sweet.

this is one class that can't be beat.

it's been a long week and we're all so worn out,

we're gonna eat dinner and hit the hay - peace out.

the end.

(p.s. in case you missed it, this all rhymed)

quote of the day

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

'mom, dads have *so* much to learn.' {in her best 6 going on 16 voice, with 6 going on 16 hip-to-the-side-with-hand-on-hip stance}

'yeah, mom. dads have *so* much to learn. seriously.' {in her sweetest 4 year old voice with such an innocent 4 year old grin}

i couldn't really even ask why because i was laughing so hard! they have a pretty cool dad who really is a lot more hip than i will ever be...there is no telling what skills they think he is lacking. and how many times have they uttered the same statement about me to him?

love, love, love my girls.

oh - and p.s., they are already asleep. the last time they went to sleep before 8 pm was probably when they were 2. wow.

therefore, i say....'when in rome.'

goodnight. :)

stupendous

Monday, August 24, 2009

that sums up my day!! my kids this year are precious and sweet and well-mannered and i am already in love with them!! it was also so good to see my students from last year - i don't know what 12 year olds eat in the summer, but i am pretty sure theirs meals are infused with hgh, steroids, popeye-grade spinach, and miracle-gro. they seriously elongate by about 3 inches!!

my 8th graders? love 'em. happy to see them heading off to their 8th grade teachers? not so much. it totally freaks me out to see kids i've taught going into 8th grade. like goosebumps and tears freaking out. the thought of them going to high school just hurts my heart. i try my hardest not to think about my 1st year babies who attended their 1st day of high school today! growing up isn't cool. not even a little bit. (sniff, sniff)

there are several kids this year that i just want to stick in my back pocket and bring home...love, love, love 'em!

the girls are with their dad tonight, so i talked to them on the phone...cee had a fabulous first day of first grade - her little voice was so tired but still filled with excitement. and jay was thrilled to have the-ever elusive homework folder. why? i don't know, but gosh i love hearing my girls so happy!

i hope your day was wonderful, and i hope your week is fantastic!!!

picasso

Sunday, August 23, 2009

cam just analyzed picasso's 'maya a la poupee' for me (maya has the doll, in french). she used a very vivid toy story reference as a digital media - to - performance media connection.

i went to france when i was much younger, and i adored picasso's museum in paris. i bought a set of four prints and today i found them while rummaging through boxes. cam liked them. i told her they were painted by a famous artist named pablo picasso.

'hmm, their faces look all crazy. and this lady has 7 toes on one foot! and this lady's feet are facing the wrong way! what in the heck is that all about!?'

and then she says, 'look, mom, i'm picasso!'

i ask, 'where did you learn that?'

she says, 'toy story.'

i ask, 'seriously?'

and she goes into the mr. potato head routine where he gets his eyes, ears, nose and feet all plugged into the wrong places.

wow - my girls are my constant source of entertainment!!

gunk

cee just defined 'junk in the trunk' for me. she calls it 'gunk' instead of 'junk'....

cee: mom! i learned what gunk in the trunk is this weekend!

me: *what*??!!

cee: see? (hops up and places sofa pillow on her booty)...it's like if someone has 'gunk' - like if this pillow was trash - in their trunk. like trunk is a better word for 'b-u-t.' (that's how she spells it)

me: *what*??!!

cee: (laughs hysterically, wiggles her booty with pillow still on it) see? 'gunk in the trunk!'

(she is beaming with pride)

(i am glowing not with pride, but instead with the fear of an impending panic attack)

now i am really nervous for tomorrow. what other fabulous phrases from the urban dictionary is she going to bust out with during the school year? her teacher is certain to have me on speed dial. wish me luck, yo.

back in the saddle again!

i never knew how much of a creature of habit i am until this summer. it has been crazy hot here...we are probably going to break a '100 degree streak' from the 1920s! therefore, we stayed inside a lot, made a very 'fly by the seat of our pants' schedule, and it is *time* to get back on track! this is going to be good for us in so many different ways!

i typically think of 'back to school' as the brink of autumn and the start of football season. i am anxiously awaiting the first cool day...i get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it! i found electric fireplace logs last night online and i absolutely cannot wait until i own them and have them 'faux-crackling' in my fireplace!!!!!!!!! fall is hands-down my favorite time of year!!!!! it cannot get here fast enough!!!!! (oooops - there i go again with the excessive exclamation marks)

to do list for today:

-finish laundry
-organize clothes for cee and jay for the week
-same for me
-pack backpacks
-load up supplies
-paint fingernails (a necessity for my li'l divas)
-go to bed early
-pack my classroom plant who affectionate goes by 'ivy'

cee is so ready for 1st grade and she adores her teacher already! jay is so ready for kindergarten, but she still has a year left. every day i tell her: one more year. and every day she asks, after one more night night am i going to kindergarten? you get the idea - the child can't wait!

as for me, i think i am going to have it more 'together' this year than last simply because things are not nearly as chaotic as they were a year ago. i am really excited to meet my kiddos and start working with them! i have a great teaching partner this year, and my friend who i've taught with for the last 2 years has moved up 2 grades. i'll still see her, but i sure will miss her. bittersweetness at its best.

in retrospect, i am so lucky to have had all my 'school friends' last year. they were priceless in supporting me and getting me through the year. i am so blessed. and the same for the girls' teachers - they are truly amazing and probably pulled a lot more weight than i realize to catch my slack.

it is nice to know that i can look back to 365 days ago and see how far we have all come...miraculously, things are flat out better for everyone. thanks, God, for seeing us through the ups and downs of life, and thanks in advance for the help i know You'll provide in the future. blessings to all!

here is a picture from back-to-school night, aka the snaggle tooth extravaganza (cee is rockin' a new 'do)...

mix and mingle

Friday, August 21, 2009

back to school night with a first grader is a serious social extravaganza! mixing and mingling with the snaggle tooth crowd is highly under publicized. they have their own form of social norms and it really makes a lot of sense.

i mean, why do we spend money on clothes? is it to feel good about what we wear and how we look? probably yes, at least in part. but we would never say, 'hey! look at me! i got new clothes!' kids? different story. on a different level. they state the obvious and manage to get the validation they need at the same time.

first, there is the basic approach:

'look! i got a hair cut!'

'i am wearing my new shirt tonight.'

'i lost four teeth this summer.'

'i wrecked my bike and i got this huge scab on my knee!'

and then there is the slightly more complex approach:

'oh, do you know what time it is? because i do. it's 7 o'clock. i got a new watch last week!'

so eye-opening! they just put it all out there. no fear of disappointment, rejection, or disapproval. they are proud and they let it be known. i love the innocence there.

when did we become so jaded towards the simple things in life? different perspectives can be *so* refreshing!

feet

Monday, August 17, 2009

-7 pm-

jay to cee: cee, do you wanna peel the skin off my feet tomorrow morning?

cee to jay: yeah! i can't wait!

(very serious - no sarcasm here)

-9 pm-

cee to jay: jay, you don't even have any *manners* anymore!

(i hate to interject...actually, no i don't. it is perfectly appropriate to interject here: since when do skin peeling and manners fit together in casual conversation throughout an evening? emily post would positively cringe at the mere mention of it!)

jay to cee: well, you won't even let me *concentrate*!

cee to jay: great. this is just stupendous.

(where did she learn this word?)

jay to cee: *fine*! you can't peel the skin off my feet anymore!

cee: tears. big, fat, alligator tears.

jay: tears. big, fat alligator tears.

ahhhh - mondays.

this evening has gone swimmingly. until right now.

tired, anyone?

routine is good.

calm is good.

no fights until 9 pm?

extremely good!

maybe i can work some free pedicure action out of this foot skin fascination. is that gross?

what would emily do? pretty sure she would opt to pay full price if given the choice between my girls attacking her feet and having her phalanges delicately pampered.

wouldn't you?

home again, home again

Sunday, August 16, 2009

jig-ity jig....

both of my little ones are back home with me - yippie! school starts tomorrow, and we are all ready to get back into the swing of routine. the girls are at each other's throats, so it is most defnitely time.

the house is clean, school supplies have been purchased, back packs are soon to be loaded, and clothes are being washed as we speak.

hope today brings the start of a wonderful week for you and yours. until next time...

God on vacay

Saturday, August 15, 2009

i meant to post this earlier in the week and i'm just now getting around to it. when i took the girls to san antonio last week, jay entertained us with a good Bible lesson before we went to sleep. it went something like this:

jay (while reading the Bible upside down):

and God said, 'people, what in the world is wrong with you? and guys, can you be nice? we need to have our hearts together! it's okay to be mad at each other, but it's not okay to not love everybody anymore. is everybody in the world nice? cause God is making sure just like santa does.'

(big breath)

and God said, 'do you want to sing a song or go to jail?'

and then He said, 'hanga pah-langa! with liberty! and juts-tice for all.'

and she continued: thank you very much. i have a duty to my people! my next show is at thirty-eleven-hundred o'clock.

cee: oh jay, for the love of God. where do you come up with this stuff? geeeez.

i was speechless, and i kind of still am. :)

oh me, oh my

Friday, August 14, 2009

if ever you need a good laugh, please do not hesitate to visit these two blogs:

cake wrecks

and

awkward family photos

oh yes, folks. i've literally had hours of entertainment thanks to these two blogs....i'm crazy like that on a friday night.

i am quite sure that i have experienced a week's worth of working out from the blunt force of tonight's laughter.

have a wonderful weekend!

laugh loud, laugh hard, laugh often.

cloud 9

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

yup, i'm floating on it. (cloud 9, that is)

i can't imagine more perfect moments with cee today...

sitting in the living room with the windows open, listening to the rain, having full conversations with my six year old, and putting together a high school musical puzzle...

a dinner date - sushi - and the decision to finish the night with a slumber party...

having a slumber party made of piles of fluffy blankets, big bowls of popcorn, and ice cream sundaes...

playing 31 and watching her sweet wheels spin and turn - literally watching how her thought processes work...

noticing how her mannerisms have matured and how they are still so innocent and "6"...

seeing the full circle of her going from a wide awake, smiling, laughing, snorting pixie into a peaceful, reflective, relaxed, angel - and my baby all over again...

she fell asleep with her head on my lap. i love that. watching her rest, listening to her breathe, studying her every feature even though i have them all memorized and imprinted on my soul and mind...

i can't tell you the last time i had a chance to soak up these little moments and sift through them like i did this evening.

perfect moments from a perfect day with my amazing cee.

i can't imagine how today could have been any more blessed.

how did i possibly get this lucky? twice!?!?

my heart is truly overflowing with gratitude.

thank You, God. You rock, and You are my rock. :)


less one

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

today cee and i dropped jay off with the grandparents for the rest of the week. i am gonna miss my little baby rugrat, and i am gonna enjoy some one-on-one time with my big girl before school starts next week.

in retrospect, the girls have been so good this summer. it is just time for us to all get back in our normal routine. i am really going to miss being home with them all day every day.

on the drive home, cee made 'mail' for jay. she asked me what she should draw for jay. i said, 'no matter what you make, i know she will love it because it's from you and she loves you!'

cee asked, 'how much does she love me?'

i replied, 'she loves you as much as you are going to miss her!'

and cee dead-panned a reply of, 'yeah....i'm actually pretty sure i'm not going to miss her at all.'

ahhh. honesty. and perfectly timed punch lines. two of my favorite things here on earth. :)

may honesty and good punch lines find their way into your life....

until next time,

peace.

update: money tree

Thursday, August 6, 2009

in case you were curious, the money tree is not growing, and not for lack of effort and sheer determination. the girls water their 'trees' every single day.

jay has decided to start supplementing her 'tree' with grass to encourage it to grow. cee has started stirring hers to give the coin and soil some air.

thankfully, no wild weeds have cropped up in the cups....so i got that goin' for me. which is nice. :)


ahhh - the faithful spirits of children are truly amazing. however, cee's journal entry makes me sad...
peace.

:)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

what a great and blessed day. the girls were good. hank was good. we had lots of laughs - the kind that come straight from your belly.

tomorrow - trivia tournament.

thursday - swimming.

sunday - vacay.

it's gonna be a good week! i just know it.

happy

dinner & wine with friends...

seafood (as opposed to see-food)...

quite literally, a bag of chocolate goodness...decadent.

i am tired, full, and happy.

perfection?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

i got an eye-opener last night before dinner. when we were saying our dinner prayer, i said, 'thanks for loving us even though we are not perfect.'

in the *middle* of prayer, cee said, 'what? what do you mean we are not perfect??!!'

purely perplexed by this new concept.

it made me realize that i have not been giving her an accurate perception of life in general; i haven't taught her that everyone messes up sometimes, and that it is okay to mess up sometimes (or a lot of times). we learn from our mistakes, and we don't always learn on the first attempt.

i have been having major discipline battles with the girls for the last 2 weeks. i bought a book called 'honey, i wrecked the kids'. it is really interesting and it makes so much sense...parents are directly responsible for kids' behaviors - it is all about whether or not their core needs are being met. it talks alot about how they will first seek positive attention and if they don't get it, they will try for negative attention. it is human nature.

i asked the ex for help this morning. he suggested *parenting classes*!!! seriously? not to be negative nancy, but i was really insulted. i think that these battles are spells that pop up from time to time in the natural course of a parent/child relationship. parenting classes seem so extreme. that is what 'bad' parents go to, right? by court mandate and judge's orders? sorry, but that suggestion still stings. tons. and i kind of feel betrayed by the lack of support. i digress...

i have been in such a funk this summer that i don't think i have been meeting their needs all the way. that is not good. i may not have been the best parent, but i don't think that i have hit the rock bottom of 'bad' parenting. i do know that there is absolutely room for improvement. always.

regardless, i feel awful for my shortcomings to the girls, and starting today lots of changes are going to happen. i hope to see lots of results, too, in their behavior and 'acting out' and our household environment. were are making a major shift from negative energy to positive energy. immediately.

i will keep you posted.

i also bought 'mom's house, dad's house'....time to saddle up in my big girl panties. i think the effects of divorce are finally settling in with them. i am glad that God let it hit me first - now i feel more capable of helping the girls get through this swamp. better equipped, i guess.

wish me luck - i hope i can handle this with grace and in a way that provides them with everything they need and more. they don't deserve anything less; divorce had nothing to do with them, they just get to deal with the after-effects of it, unfortunately. they need lots of love and support right now.

i don't want to simply be a 'good' mom, or a 'better' mom. i want to be the best mom i can possibly be for them. i have slipped, and now it's time to get back on track. i am learning from my mistakes.

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