top ten list, and other stuff

school has been out for eight days. the girls have been frolicking throughout texas for the last seven days. i have gotten a lot done this week– i have officially marked everything off of my ‘things i need to get done this week’ list (except for one unwelcome agenda item scheduled for tomorrow), and i decided that we needed a top ten list of things to do this summer. here we go.

1. read the gardner heist. i first heard about this book in february and i’ve been dying to read it since then. here’s what i already love about this mystery: the curators left the frames up from where the original artwork was stolen! i’m not entirely sure why i like that so much, but i do…

2. refinish the book shelf in my bedroom. as in remove the chipped, old paint, sand it down, and make it pretty. it’s a first rate eye-sore, and i didn’t realize it until tuesday.

3. read fall down 7 times get up 8. author debbie silver was one of the keynote speakers at the ira convention i attended in april. she was seriously funny. here are the notes i took down while watching her: that was my starter marriage, i'm a recovering middle school teacher, he's my step ex husband in law, middle school kids = hormones with feet. see? genius. here's a link to a book trailer...cute images + forward by carol ann tomlinson = gotta be good.

4. take (and pass) the reading specialist test. i submitted my final review assignment earlier today and now i wait for approval to take the exam. there are lots of theories i’ve forgotten in the last six months: the transactional one, the behaviorist one, the sociolinguistics one, and constructivist one. after i brush up on those, i’ll be ready to go!

5. grow tomatoes. they are seriously adorable little sprouts right now. my san marzanos and my yellow pears are off and running, but my beefsteaks are on the remedial track.

6. speaking of running on the remedial track, that’s next on my list. if you know me, don’t laugh because i’m serious. i’ve never been a huge fan of running (unless it's a rare circumstance and i’m being chased), so this one is a little bit of a risky undertaking. but the girls and i are going to start running. really.

7. enjoy the twinkle lights that we set up in our backyard a couple of weeks ago. unfortunately, i haven’t stayed up late enough to enjoy them since school’s been out, what with my incessant need for catching up on all the sleep i lost during the school year. but i will. probably tomorrow evening. maybe.

8. float. the girls are finally big enough (and by big enough i mean their attention spans are long enough) to float the river. i have some inside info on a new stretch of the river to float, and i can’t wait to give it a whirl with my little ladies in tow.

9. make pickles. the theme for end of year teacher gifts this year involved ball jars. i got some cute jars in all shapes and sizes with some incredibly thoughtful gifts. so now i have cute, empty jars. may as well put them to good use.

10. make an advent calendar (a documented and rare example of me planning ahead). i have wanted to do this for approximately twelve years. i always remember that i’ve intended to do this on approximately december first, which is (ironically) the day i need to have it ready to use. this time, i’m going to put time on my side.

so there you have it. ten things to accomplish this summer. the first five are for me, and the last five are for the girls and me to do together. seems fair, i think?

i have a new blog that i’m completely loving right now, partly because she is hilarious and partly because i love reading about families who have gone through the international adoption process. jen hatmaker. i stumbled across her blog about a year ago, and found it again in may. 

oh, and she was on the today show on monday for a hilarious blog post she wrote about the end of the school year. no big deal. here’s a link to a great piece she wrote earlier today that might resonate with anyone who’s brave enough to be at home with their kids during the summer. hope you enjoy – she leaves me in a constant state of "i’m not worthy"-ness. in a good way, of course.

i can't wait for the girls to get home on saturday. i'm looking forward to a summer filled with lots of fun with these little ladies.

peace…

feeling antsy

the other night, we grilled burgers. really, really good burgers.

when i lit the grill, i noticed a few wayward ants crawling leisurely on the handle and i figured they'd find someplace else to play as the grill started warming up.

when i went back to the grill a few minutes later, there was only one ant left.

it was frantically running in circles around the dial.

its 'help me' pheromones were undoubtedly masked by the heavy scent of propane, and all i could imagine was the ant yelling 'abort, abort!' to his friends...all ethan hunt style.

i don't know what the ant's fate was, but i know we had some amazing burgers.

i've kinda felt like the ant for the last few days - frantically running in circles, trying to get everything done for the end of the school year.

yesterday was my last day with students. today i learned new stuff for next year. tomorrow i will finish cleaning my class room, and then i will be ready to enjoy a much-needed brain break.

the girls are so excited for summer fun, and i am looking forward to relaxing with them. this will be the first summer in two years that i won't have grad school to juggle! but right now, all i need is a long, long nap...

oh, and if you love grilled burgers, you have to try this recipe. you can't go wrong with ina garten.

peace...

super mom

70 weeks ago, jay turned seven. she wanted a bowling birthday party, and that's exactly what she got. the party sounded like a great deal: the package included bowling, pizza, and drinks for each kid, and we had our own party hostess. they'd thought of everything.

what i didn't anticipate was i would be the only adult herding children into bowling groups and programming lanes and adding bumpers and putting on pairs of socks to feet that weren't my children's feet and velcroing shoes that were awkward and didn't fit. i also didn't anticipate that the girls' dad's new girl friend ('the 24 year old') would be in charge of getting the cookie cake, that she would be late, and that the day of the party would be the day i realized that she wasn't actually an assistant.

it was kind of weird, and i tried to ignore the glaringly obvious by keeping myself busy serving pizza and lemonade and giant pieces of cookie cake to 22 1st graders. at some point in the midst of my scrambling, one of jay's friend's moms came up to me and gently asked if i was alright. the flustered look on my face was the only answer she needed, and she quickly jumped in and helped me as if she was a friend i'd known for years.

from extra slices of pizza to additional chunks of cookie, from cleaning up spills to taking pictures of jay and me as gifts were opened, i was floored by the unexpected kindness of a complete stranger that day.

later that night when the nagging ex-wife in me politely informed the girls' dad that a little help would have been appreciated during the party, he simply said, 'i'm sorry, you're right...but it looked like you and super mom had it under control.'

and we she did, and she was...super mom.

68 weeks ago, jay came home with a box full of pictures. there were at least 100 prints, a cd, and an 8x10 - all pictures that super mom had taken and developed for us. again, i was completely floored by the unexpected generosity of a complete stranger, and i was certain that super mom wasn't nearly an accurate enough name for her.

when i wrote her a thank you note, i only knew was that her name was dawn, that her daughter was a good friend of jay's, and that i would never forget her kindness.

nine days ago, we had a horrible and unexpected tragedy in our sweet little town. a little boy in the sixth grade passed away, and he went to the same middle school where the girls will go after elementary.

i felt like i'd been kicked in the shins eight days ago when the mom of one of my students informed me that her son had been in the boy's class in 4th and 5th grade. i was blown away six days ago when i read his obituary, and four days ago when i found out another one of my students would be a pall bearer, i felt like someone needed to pinch me back into reality.

two days ago, jay came home and told me that one of her friend's brothers, who was in 6th grade, had passed away, and she was emphatic that it had to be the same boy. she explained that it was the older brother of the daughter of super mom...from her party last year.

i thought it couldn't possibly be true and maybe jay had misunderstood.

but she was right. it was dawn's son.

i didn't know him, but cee knew him, and jay loves his little sister.

today, i went to his funeral. i went as much for (not with) the girls as i went for the three students i teach this year who also knew him, but most of all, i went because it seemed like the very least i could do for someone who showed me what it means to be unconditionally kind.

today's was the first funeral i have ever attended for a child, and thankfully i went with a dear friend.

i've never seen a truer celebration of life, and i'm honestly sad that i didn't have the chance to know this boy because he sounded like an amazing little firecracker with a heart of gold. and how could he not be with such an incredible mom as his matriarch?

when dawn stood in front of the congregation and presented us with the eulogy for her son, i don't think there was a dry eye in the entire room. she was solid, she was confident, she was kind, and most of all, she was honest.

she did for an entire community something similar to what she did for me at jay's birthday party. she put a town at ease with her comforting words of assurance. she reminded us that he is in a better place. she reinforced that he lived his young life to the fullest; i think everyone who was there is thankful for the unassuming way she created a little bit of peace in the midst of something that seemed nearly unbearable at first glance.

70 weeks ago, dawn got the nickname super mom; 68 weeks ago i wondered if it was accurate; and after today, i've decided that super mom doesn't give her nearly enough credit for the strength she possesses.

artwork commissioned by cee for this post :)

for me, ever the over thinker, today - and the last week - have been a lot to process. but once again, i find myself comforted by the kindness of people's spirits.

and once again, human potential astounds me.

peace...

simple realities

today i had lots of reality checks, except i'm not sure 'reality checks' is the correct way to say it.

i think my dad would refer to them as moments of clarity.

regardless, all of these moments of realizing reality or check-ins with clarity revolved roughly around this exact scenario, and at some point in the five or so minutes that said scenario occurred, i thought to myself, 'you need to take a picture of this because it's going to matter.'

so here were are, or there we were. the aftermath of a rainy day - it was time for the girls to get outside and play in the sun (after playing in the rain), and it was time for me to plop in the chair with my glass of goodness and watch over them. and what would a party be without browning in tow?

while i sat, watching them playing & timing them on bike rides/runs/scooter scoots around the block, several things solidified for me, and by several, i very specifically mean three.

1) the nouns (people, places, things) i've always thought are bad for me actually are, and i need to make sure there isn't room for them in my life.

2) the nouns (people, places, things) i've always thought are good for me actually are, and i need to make plenty of room for them in my life. 

3) the offspring will always be my number one straight shooters, and i need to make sure they are 100% aware of how much i appreciate their honesty. 

while we were huddled halfway in our driveway, halfway in our garage, talking about this and that (some of it important, some of it not), something amazing happened before i even realized it. 

mid-conversation, my children started picking away at my hair - without missing a beat in our conversation. 

what are you doing, i interrupted.

well, ummm...you have some gray hairs, cee said.

not some, but more like a lot. and they aren't gray, they're white, jay explained.

get them. get them all, hitler ordered.

and that's when i snapped the picture that i knew would matter, and bless those sweet girls for picking our conversation back up exactly where we left off without missing a single beat.

a few minutes and a few plucks later, things were done, and life resumed to normal. 

and to me, that's the great thing about reality and clarity: it hits you when you very least expect it to. but when it decides it's your time, you may as well pay attention.

in the end, you just have to appreciate life's timing because it's almost always pretty perfect, and it's almost always out of your control.  

and that's my lesson for you for today...hope it's relevant. :)

peace...

frayed emotions

a month ago, our country endured the boston marathon bombing.

five months ago, we watched a massacre unfold in front of our eyes in connecticut.

six months ago, we watched hurricane sandy devastate massive regions of the east coast and ultimately cancel the new york marathon as it destroyed way too many lives.

a non-news-addict friend of mine once said that they should stop calling it ‘the news’ and instead they should just call it ‘the bad news’ so people know what they're getting themselves into.

and somewhere in the midst of all of this, i very specifically remember saying it’s easier to forgive a natural disaster than it is to forgive a terrorist.

yesterday i realized i may have spoken too soon.

moore, ok.

what a nightmare.

i cannot imagine the pain and the loss. i can’t imagine the suffering, and i can’t imagine how you even begin to pick up the pieces and try to put them back together again.

what i do know is that people have very generous hearts, especially in times of need. of course you know you can donate to red cross to help provide immediate relief to families.

i stumbled across another way to donate today, and as a teacher, this seems like a pretty thoughtful way to help - something that will be a necessary and important effort in the coming months. donors choose does amazing work for classrooms! the amount donated on this page has increased by $10k in just an hour. i think that’s a pretty strong testament to the kindness and generosity of strangers.

and just in case neither of these options float your boat, p-dub has an additional host of options for you to peruse. she's prettty awesome.

i know people are strong and resilient by nature, and i know that the people directly effected by this disaster will persevere, but i also know they can't do it alone. in the wake of such an unsettling event, i hope the people in moore and the surrounding areas are able to find a calm moment or two tonight – i know they need it, and probably so do we.

peace…